Dad

Claudius Dockery III

Thirty-two years ago today my father chose to end his life. His life and death changed me. 

Move

I'm not sure when it came to me but I began to get the visual image of the word move; I began to think about it. God was encouraging me to begin doing just that. As I pondered this word I began looking for opportunities to move and focus on its benefits. 

Resolve

I'm a little embarrassed to write about this but truly this resolve is where Grace in Mardo begins. Many who know me have heard me lament about my weight. But in the past years I have lamented less out- loud and lived with it more internally and alone. I've gotten to a certain point where I've given up. "I will just be overweight" and try being satisfied where I am. Honestly, I don't like saying those words;  deep down I don't really believe it, yet.... why can't I either "just do it", or be happy and content where I am. That is the big question I am asking myself and want to begin journaling about on my blog.

I've always felt like it's too personal to write so much about what is so obvious, it's the hidden sin that everyone can see. Yet, recently I've been very inspired by people who have shared their stories and are actually working through it. So for the few that read this blog, will you join me on this journey?

Death

I know this is a dismal post but isn't it all around us?

In June we hosted our 2nd annual MarDo Stay-cation which includes having our family at our house (MarDo) for the weekend. We basically play, eat, fellowship and just be. Several days before the weekend a former Caldwell student Justin Sharp, and good friend and classmate of the girls, took his life. Saturday of our Stay-cation was spent traveling to his funeral. It was a sad day.

Friday, September 28 we all safely arrived at Topsail Beach for a family beach trip. Saturday morning I'm checking my email and discovered our friend Keith Pruitt from Asheville took his life on Thursday night. His wife was a mentor for our girls when they lived in Gboro, and our fondness for them has remained over many years. The impact of his death is great.

32 years ago on October 30, my dad took his life. I will never forget the day nor the emotions that followed. Death is so final. It leaves a wake and a lifetime of questions for the survivors.

My thoughts go out to my friend Chris and her children as they bury their husband and father today. This side of heaven we don't know or can fathom the pain that drives a person to this act. We want to understand yet we most likely won't. It becomes a mark in our life.

I do know from my own walk that God will use this event, this loss for his glory. May God meet my friends during this sad and dark time. May their be glimmers of light and hope around the corner.